• I've noticed something interesting lately through my desire to remember my MILAB experiences while also trying to reaffirm my spiritual practice through witchcraft. There are so many instances where a healer or psychic or medium will mention the idea of soul retrieval (a concept referring to the rediscovery/reconnection with parts of the soul that have separated from the main soul body during serious traumatic events) specifically in relation to past lives.

    This has recently come up very frequently for me, and it's become a sort of threaded connection I've been playing around with. During an episode of Cosmic Disclosure, Corey Goode described the process of preparing individuals for the end of their service, which included a sort of de-aging where the individual's physical body was age regressed back to its original state just prior to the MILAB abduction. Once they're put back into their original timeline, that individual essentially lives those years twice. I was taken around the age of 7, and assuming my service was for 15-20 years, my physical body will be reliving its own lifespan until I'm between 22-27 (which lines up with the time frame for my memories beginning to resurface).

    I don't think it's at all irrational to believe that the trauma involved with participating in this program (unwillingly for me, as an astral operator) would cause a fracture in the energetic/soul body, which might not immediately return, either on its own or after being sought out. But this leaves an interesting notion with how the metaphysical community might be interacting with this phenomenon without really realizing what they're dealing with. I've only ever heard soul retrieval used in relation to past life trauma (unless it was explicitly for a trauma that an individual remembered as part of their normal lifespan), so it would be likely that those years people spend in MILAB, due to the process involved with blankslating, would in fact seem or feel like their own past life.

    I suppose this realization came to me in a moment of frustration, when I recently within the last few weeks went to a local metaphysical shop to inquire about soul retrieval. The woman I spoke to insisted that it was almost always in relation to past lives, which didn't exactly fit for me because I know for sure that my MILAB experiences were far more horrific than my last few past lives (the most recent of which had me as an orphaned boy whose later wife died of the plague). So I was frustrated because I already knew the nature of this missing piece of my soul body, why it stayed away, when it returned to me, and the reason for its continued refusal to connect with the rest of me. I thought about this a lot for the next couple of days after I took up the woman's offer for a meditation to connect me with my personal Fetch Beast (an astral companion specific to the task of helping one travel to the astral, which I struggle with incredibly because of my MILAB service) and realized that my own frustration was keeping me from seeing the bigger picture.

    Part of my journey in this life, I truly believe, is to help bridge the gap between metaphysics and this aspect of disclosure. Energy healers are going to start coming into contact with a lot of MILAB individuals and will probably have quite a time trying to understand this odd addition of 15-20+ years attached to the soul's current lifetime that are not reflected in the physical body. And I believe that simply due to the nature of blankslating, after having read Dr. Michael Newton's books on past lives and life between lives, those years spent during service will probably energetically feel like their own separate past lives, when that's not totally the case.

    I'm sure there's more to it, or that some part of my rationalization is flawed, but ultimately the basic idea feels true to me, and I guess I just wanted the opportunity to write it down and read my thoughts for myself. It's difficult to pair these intensive disclosure aspects with the "woo woo" of metaphysics, but I think it's a really important connection to make.
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  • There’s an interesting sense of clarity and motivation I get in moments where I am not in the space to act on them - generally at work. I work an 8-5 job that requires two additional hours of driving daily, and for quite a few months I really felt that I had let myself down because I had not been able to facilitate a way to make money before I got to the point where having a full time job was necessary to sustain me. I was upset and discouraged because I played right into the system, and once you’re in corporate there is a very real sense of how easy it is to stay here and never leave. And I’m sure they know that.

    But I have to recognize what I’m grateful for. I can cover all of my necessities (rent, bills, car payment, student loans, groceries, insurance, etc.) on my own, and still have a little bit left over to encourage the rest. Like having enough money to see an energy healer after finding out that the piece of me that broke away after my MILAB training was finally back and ready to work on communicating with me again. I have the free mental capacity to be able to listen when my Higher Self tells me something because the big money stress is not on my shoulders.

    I get more and more clarity all the time on what I’m capable of, what I can explore to hone in on what my passions are. To learn what I can do to help. Before I came into this body my guides and my peers and I had a conversation about what this life should focus on, and not only am I glad that I have the self awareness to even know that, but I’m glad I’m learning to listen. To hear what I need so I can be who I need to be and fulfill that role I’m here to fulfill.
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  • I am absolutely amazed and excited that I've found this online space. It's always so eye opening to me when my low moments are followed by ones like these. Every once in a while the trauma of my MILAB experience rears its head without warning, and I can only be grateful when it happens while I'm alone with the space I need to process those emotions on my own terms. I had one of those moments this morning, and on a whim did a search on youtube just to see if there was anything new that I hadn't seen before, just to help soothe my nerves. And then I found another young woman talking about her experiences and felt this really intense sensation of "Oh my God, we really are remembering!"

    And then there was a link here, to a place full of people feeling and experiencing the exact same things, a part of this community that has always felt just out of reach to me. This is so awesome and so incredible, and those low moments where I'm reminded of all of the terrible things I went through are absolutely worth the moments like these, where I'm shown a new door.

    So thank you, Self, for helping me find this one!
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