Hello world. The following is from 2016.
Sometimes in our lives we are forced to evaluate ourselves, our extended families, and the people we surround ourselves with in our daily lives. As we journey along we find many who do not see things as we see. In fact their perspective of viewing their world can be very very different from ours. Sometimes we find ourselves in untenable situations. Situations where we find ourselves between a rock and a hard place. Where our beliefs veer from that of our families and friends or even general society.
For the past week my Husband and I have both been experiencing this veering away in regards our family. As each word was spoken and each day passed more and more they attacked and attacked our chosen paths. Because we no longer blindly believe in the things they believe in we must be under the control of the DEVIL. Each time I have testified to Holy Spirit and my Guides in my life they have denied me my truth. As each thing is brought up for me to look at they tell me I should not talk about that...just because it happens doesn't mean you should talk about it....BULLSHIT!!!!!!
In talking about the things Holy Spirit and my Guides bring up for me to look at I am healed. In shining the light on my darkness I uncover those things I have been hiding from myself. All week I kept hearing Them tell me to walk away each time the vitriol started to spew forth from my family. To say nothing and to Walk Away. My mistake was in assuming that They meant it in a metaphorical way. So, I continued to walk away and not respond to the nastiness that I am following the devil and am not following "God". That is, I am not following the hateful, vengeful, and angry God they have chosen to believe in.
Connect the Dots!!! As this situation was unfolding, over the course of the week, I found myself dealing with physical ailments. The more they judged me and my path the more my body shut down on me. My neck locked up. My back started hurting as if I was carrying a heavy burden. My third eye started in throbbing and aching as if I was getting a migraine. Then my crown started in throbbing as well. The nastier my family got the more pain I experienced. Until I found myself in the throes of a very painful migraine that had my entire body on lock down or should I say the purge sequence...
Last night I found myself at my end. I spoke up and spoke my truth as I have been shown it. I reminded my family what I said 16 years ago, that if they did not want my Husband around then they do not want me around either. That I have absolutely no problem walking away from every single one of them. I reminded them that it was their angry hateful vengeful god that I walked away from 30 years ago and started studying Wicca. I was done believing in a God that allowed me to be used and abused by my own family and their friends.... I testified to my truth and the healing I have received since starting this course. Healing of my mind and my body. The healing of my very soul.
Still they would deny this. Saying again I have fallen from the path and am following the devil. That the Course is a new age book made to discredit their beloved Jesus. Jesus the one and only Lord Our God. To them there is no other God than Jesus...Jesus IS GOD to them. In doing this Course I have come to understand why it is that has never ever set well with me. At my core I understood fundamentally that Jesus was a man. That made him no different than me or anyone else. Was he wise? Yes. Was he awake to himself? Yes. Did he ever claim to be God the creator? No. Did he state that like the Father we could forgive too? YES! We are as the Father created us. The Father created us like Himself in every way. He gave freely of all He is, holding nothing back. NOTHING!!!!! His sight, hearing, creative expression, and ability to love deeply, fully, and completely when we allow ourselves to let go all fear of connection.
Jesus is my Brother. In following in his footsteps I am honoring him and his teachings. I have given myself to Holy Spirit and am in His care and under His guidance. As my Brother has told me to do, so I did. I have turned within and ask Holy Spirit and Holy Spirit brought me my Guides to guide my journey through the labyrinth of my mind. As each thought comes forth it is another step into the labyrinth. Deeper and deeper I go until I reach my true center. On reaching that place I will know who I am fully and completely with no confusion or fears any longer. Understanding that I am manifesting everything I am experiencing around me from the depths of my own creative mind.
At this point an understanding came to me as Holy Spirit and my Guides again brought to my mind a contemplation They had just had me do regarding this very thing that was eating at me…family. They reminded me again of my choice I made 16 years ago when my Husband and I met. I chose my Husband that day as my family. He is my choice given to me by God. Someone who loves me and accepts me as I am unconditionally. Holy Spirit and my Guides also reminded me of something Jesus went through too. Jesus found himself in conflict when he returned to his home village. As he would speak his truth none there would hear him. They would curse him and denigrate him saying he had fallen from the path. That he did not know what he was talking about and doing. Because of their lack of belief in him he found himself without ability to extend miracles. In their disbelief in him he doubted himself in that moment. He thought he had done something wrong which sent him out into the desert to pray.
In this same way I was being bombarded by all the things I grew up being told were true. The more nasty they became in their judgments the more my body responded in sickness. The more I held back the sicker I got. I was not being authentic. I was not honoring myself. In allowing them free reign to denigrate and trample on who I am the sicker I became. When I stood up and finally spoke out. I stood in Their Light of Truth. I repeated again that in following Holy Spirit and my Guides I have been healed. That they are allowed to believe whatever they want too. I am not to drag them kicking and screaming in the Light. They must come on their own willingly. It matters not that I do not want them to suffer. It is not my choice. That choice is and has been theirs all along. Just as it was my choice to say no more and walk away from that path of belief.
Last night I found myself walking away from those family members that continue to judge me and denounce me as a devil worshiper. Holy Spirit and my Guides remind me that I do not need to experience what they experience. I do not have to be in the thick of that kind of negative energy anymore. So I walked away from them. I unfriended and walked away. I am reminded that I can still love them fully from a distance. There is no need for me to stand there accepting a beating as if I deserve it. As with any abusive relationship one must step back from it to gain a better perspective. I love my family. I love me just as much. The difference is that I am not demanding my family change. I am accepting that they believe as they do. It is their unwillingness to accept me that had my body in such chaos. In finally walking away in truth I instantly found my entire body relieved of the pain and suffering I was experiencing from the start of all of this.
Holy Spirit and my Guides have been telling me to walk away every single time and instead of hearing that, I decided to think for myself, that I was to not respond and walk away from the conversation. In not listening to what They stated explicitly, “Walk Away”, I endured a lot of pain and suffering that was not needed. I did that to myself. In allowing myself to waiver for even a moment from the Truth Holy Spirit and my Guides have shown me I incurred every ounce of pain and suffering I endured. When I finally walked away all of the pain stopped. Instantly all pain went away. In standing in my light of truth and refusing to waiver for any reason all pain left me instantly. It is only when I start to believe whatever is being stated by someone else that I suffer. My beliefs are what have been killing me slowly from within. In letting them go I am healed.
I can accept and allow that someone does not believe as I do. I can let them continue on with the beliefs they have. As they share their beliefs with me I am to share my experiences with them. I am to share the truths of my experiences and the lessons They have taught me. When I do this I am simply showing another perspective of seeing a situation. Showing another possible outcome. After my sharing I am to let them choose what it is they will believe. Whatever their choice may be I am to allow them to have it. Whether it be harmful to them or not. It is their choice and always will be. I have absolutely no say in that. I am not responsible for them in any way. They must come into the light on their own willingly or not at all. It is and always has been a matter of choice. We get to choose and choose again if we do not like what we get. We will always get to do so. This is why we have Free Will. Light or dark…it is our choice.
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.