I became paralyzed with fear when my daughter Tisha would become enraged. I always kept my composure though, I did not want her to be aware that I was afraid of her at times. Once a week when we would have our family night, I would use some of that time to try to find out what is tearing her up on the inside. I would have much rather sat on the couch with her, or on my bed, or her bed and have a long conversation between mother and daughter and share some hugs and kisses. However, in times past, I will reach out to comfort and hug her, but she rebuffed me, putting her hands up, saying, “don't touch me.” She trained me to keep my distance, so I did.
Because of her anger and rage, I respected how she felt and did not violate her personal space. Sometimes we sat at the table for over an hour and I would ask probably 3 or 4 questions, and possibly get an answer for one. Most of the times the answer that she gave was not very helpful. I could not probe with a barrage of questions, I had to be very tactful and careful, if I did not, I would only elicit more anger. I could not get anything out of her, she just sat there in dead silence. Sometimes She would look at me, but for the most part, she would just stare elsewhere, and tears will just silently drop from her eyes. This scenario played out time and time again for years. I would just be heartbroken, because, no matter how much I try I could not reach my daughter, I could not help her, I felt helpless. This situation made me feel like I was bound and tied with a gun to my head, and watching someone brutally abused my daughter, and could do absolutely nothing to help her. I simply felt helpless for years and years.
My daughter was always willing to help others, to give herself to others, she's the type of person that would have jumped in feet first to help anyone, if it was in her power to help that person. I feel sometimes even though if it wasn't in her power, she would still attempt to help. However, all that began to change during the time she left home, quite to my despair and disappointment.
The fact that our children, once they arrive at a certain age, wants to experience life on their own. This is something that is always in the subconscious of their parents, It was in mine! so Tisha and I would have this discussion from time to time. I told her that there must be proper planning. We discussed setting up an account so when she begins to work, that will have already be in place, and I will also put money in her account as I could afford to. Therefore, when she is ready to leave home, possibly around twenty-two or twenty-three, she will have a nest egg set aside. She will be able to purchase a table, a pair of chairs to have her meals, few dishes and a bed. Thereafter, she can decorate to her liking. However, that did not take place, when she turned eighteen years of age, without a job, no direction, she just packed up and left.
When she lived at home, I made a concerted effort to have as much get together as possible. Also, we went to as much gatherings as we were able to. In doing so, she met many other young and older people from many congregations from different cities. When my daughter was around sixteen, she seemed to be more at ease with herself, more pleasant and even happy, she was building many friendships. Many of the friendships and acquaintances she made were older than she was. Many in their twenties and thirties. I thought this was very good. Some young sisters took her to the movies, spend weekends at their homes, went out on dinners, and from time to time, she was even used as their chaperone for those who were dating and contemplating marriage.
At sixteen It became a regular routine for her to be out two or three weekends out of the month with her friends. I did not mind this at all, simply because of the four roommates in the home, one of them was her sister, therefore, I did not mind, she was spending time with her sister and her nephew. After a while, there were days during the week where she would be gone. This was not acceptable, so I said, Tisha, I really don't mind you spending time with your sister and your friends. “I am your mom; therefore, much of your time should always be with me, especially since you are home schooled. During the times she was spending with her sister, and the other three roommates, she was introduced to Jillian, a friend of one of her sister’s roommates, a young lady from Texas, they hit it off quite well, and they became best friends. When she turned eighteen years of age, she moved out and they became roommates.
A short while after moving with her friend Jillian, she arranged with me to pick her up and take her to a job interview. I told her we would have to do it a little early, because I will be attending an assembly that same morning. She was supposed to call me with the address and telephone number of the business a day or two ahead. I needed to formulate in my mind, where I'm going ahead of time, and needed to map out at least, two different routes in the event we may become lost, or there may be road construction, or, a detour. I never heard from her and did not have the phone to the house where she lived.
The Saturday morning of her interview I went to pick her up, but she was running late. I waited in the car, after she sat in the car and I drove off, I said to her, I told you that I needed the address ahead of time, you are late and now we must find the place, and then I'll be late. She started screaming and yelling, stop yelling at me stop yelling at me, just stop the car, so I stop the car and she just jumped out and walked back to the house. That was a big, big, red light in her personality change that I had notice. In the years that ensued, she would say things that lead me to think, I don’t know this person! Who is this person?
In the early years of their friendship they moved back and forth between Texas and Arizona. Tisha had a few hospital stays, she had quite a bit of throwing up spells for long Periods of time, for months and months she just kept throwing up. The doctors could not pinpoint what was happening to her. She told me that the doctor in Texas said she had a kidney infection, he gave her some medication and sent her home. She said she started having the same problem again, she went back but nothing was done for her. She had several visits to a naturopathic person in another city in Texas, a bit of a distance away from where she lived. She said of the number of times she visited the emergency room doctors in Texas, she received the most help from the naturopathic person she saw. However, the naturopathic person told her, she is sure that she is suffering with an autoimmune illness and she would need to see a doctor, preferably a neurologist.
In 2006, she came home from Texas, she looked horrible, she was gray in complexion, and because of a lack of balance, and have fallen several times, she had to use a walker. I was in shock when I saw my daughter. It is very rare for me to display my emotions in the company of others, so quite naturally for me, after putting her to bed that night, I soaked my pillow. The way my daughter looked I did not know if she would be alive when I awake next morning.
Financially, at that time I could afford it, therefore, I did a lot of organic juicing, fruit juice and vegetable juice. I started her on that regiment the very next morning after talking with her and seeing if she would be agreeable to this diet, she was. I did not like the taste of wheatgrass, but I increased it because of my daughter, I knew it was a very good grass in juicing. In a few days she started looking more perky in the face, by the end of the second day into the third day her normal color returned. One of her eyes remained droopy, and her vision also remained fuzzy, she looked like she was a stroke victim. If an object was placed in front of her to grab hold of, she would always miss, she said it was like she was seeing in doubles, and she would always grasp at the wrong object of what was placed in front of her.
We didn't go to the hospital at that time, I think if I remember correctly, she said that she did not want to go to the hospital, so I tried my best to take care of her at home. When I was giving her a bath one morning, I told her I read an article, about the reviving effects of navigating your shower between hot and cold, hot and cold. I ask her if she was willing to try it, she said yes. I maneuvered the shower between hot and cold, hot and cold. She says, “mom, that feels so good.” What happened next, set of a slew of events that sent her health into a downward spiral. She stepped into the tub, but, could not step back out. I was not strong enough to lift her out of the tub. After several agonizing minutes, between the both of us, we were able to get her out of the tub, she crawled on the floor until she got to the side of the bed, then, there was the struggle of getting her on it. I went around the other side of the bed and held onto her arms to try pulling her. This was successful in getting her up to her torso, then, I went back around and hoisted her legs onto the bed. I said “Tisha, we must call 911 now.” She said ok, wrap me up in the sheet first.
At the hospital they took her through various test but came back with no definitive answers. My daughter said, I will go to the mayo clinic. I think once she said that, she ruffled the Egos of the emergency room doctor, one of them ask, why would you need to go to the Mayo Clinic? my daughter said, I believe that they will have some answers for me. Thereafter, the doctor in the emergency Department decided to do an MRI. When they returned, they said that the myelin in her brains was stripped, resulting in a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. She remained in the hospital for a week, but the doctor still did not have a prognosis on her illness. From there, she was transferred to a rehab center for occupational therapy. At the end of 1 week close to 2 weeks Her therapist, doctors and the team that worked with her in the rehab center were impressed with her and her progress. Everyone raved about a meal that she prepared in the rehab center. When she returned to the hospital for a follow up visit, the doctor who took care of her initially in the hospital, mention about the meal he heard that she cooked at the rehab center.
Though still in the wheelchair she was able to manage a bit with the walker, she was released from the rehab center and was given a prescription to continue physical therapy in our local area. We found a physical therapy facility about a half a mile from where we lived. She had 3 weekly therapy sessions, the physical therapist there, like her care team at the rehab center, was impressed with her. The therapist said she had such a good attitude for being so young, at the age of 20 with such a devastating illness, she did not have a defeatist attitude, why me, poor me, why did this have to happen to me. She explained to him that she is one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, we are taught to maintain our joy don't matter how devastating a situation we are in. Jehovah God teaches us to look at the future where these things will no longer exist. We know in this world right now; these things are going to take place. He complemented her and told her that she was prepared for this, she said yes.
She recovered and was walking once more. She resumed living with her roommate, thereafter, they took several trips back and forth to Texas. When she returned from one of those trips she did not look well, she said she did not feel good, she also told me that the house was extremely dusty and there was mold in the home. Like myself she suffers with different allergies and intolerances to many things, I told her mold is one of those things that adversely affects me, I am sure that it is causing her multiple sclerosis to relapse, she cannot return to that house.
Between the years of 2006 to late 2009 she had several relapses from mild to moderate, the most severe relapse she had, was being blind, this happened twice. We monitored very closely things that would cause a relapse and we took precautions from those things. Some of these things consist of dust, mold, various sweeteners, and a poor diet. If she controlled these things, she was able to keep the relapses at a minimum. Also, stress was a factor in a relapse, so there was a need for her to be very mindful in these areas. Thankfully she never relapsed to the point of where a wheelchair or a walker was needed. There were a few times a cane was needed for a short period of time. But she never relapsed to the point of being in a wheelchair ever again.
By 2010, her mental an emotional state was becoming more pronounced more apparent that these areas in her life were in severe distress. Her final trip from Texas, I notice what seemed to be a degree of paranoia. We were at a restaurant, and nothing went right with her, the waiter did not serve her food properly, the people in the table around us was staring and laughing at her, this happened on two occasions. When she was employed as a leasing agent, someone was always stealing her clients, talking about her, snickering at her, and saying rude and crazy things to her. She left that job got another job as a bank telephone teller and it was the very same thing. Her coworkers were rude and snickering at her, talking about her, and people who called on the phone was also very rude to her. It became more apparent to me that her mental an emotional state was in turmoil.
I felt sad over my daughter's plight that she was having so much difficulty on her job. However, I knew I could not tell her to quit, because that will make her very angry and she would feel that I was not being supportive. Years prior, she wanted to go into cosmetology and I asked her, With the number of allergies and intolerances that afflicts you, do you think this is a wise career move? She became very upset with me and told me that I was not supportive to her. When she wants to embark on something I should just simply support her Instead of making her feel like it’s something she cannot accomplish. Therefore, I waited for her to conclude that she needed to quit and just focus on her mental and emotional stress that she was undergoing. One day, she did tell me, mom, I can't handle this, I told her your right sweetheart, you need to stay at home for a while and get some disability, and when you feel well again, you can return to the workforce. She fought for her disability for about three years and then she finally received it. During her wait, her mental an emotional state was not improving. Her mental state also affected her physical state, and at times her legs dragged, at those times she needed a cane to help balance her.
My daughter's health kept going downhill, I've noticed that, at times when we are out, she kept her head down, she would not look people in their faces. “I can feel their vibe,” she says, “a lot of times, when I look at people’s faces, they don't look human, they don't look like they are supposed to look. Even some people that I do know.” We went to her cousin’s funeral In Maryland in 2011. We were sitting in the living room at my other daughter’s home. On the dining room table was a magazine, Tisha flipped the magazine over to the back cover, I ask her, why did you do that? she said the face on the magazine is not the face that supposed to be there, she said it look like some monster some grotesque figure. I said OK. The photo on the magazine was of a famous music entertainer.
I miss my daughter fiercely way before she went away, even though for the better part of 12 years while she was going through the drastic change in personality behavior, and thinking, I missed her terribly, even though she was right there in my presence. We had the pleasure of enjoying the same kind of music, movies, and we had a good sense of humor together. All that was taken away because she was no longer the Tisha I knew. In the final years, the Tisha I knew deteriorated rapidly, the few moments that we were able to enjoy a song, or a movie together ended abruptly in the final 2 plus years. Prior to that, as was mentioned before, we managed to have moments of quality time together, between the personality change, behavior, and thinking.
Though my daughters emotional and personality change was in progress, I believe the hammer that drove the nail way in, was the death of her grandmother, my mother. Seemingly, the death of my mother was due to an automobile accident. I believe that her death and my daughter's going away are closely related. From day one of my mother’s death, I never believe that that was simply an auto accident. The most profound of my experiences is the going away of my Tisha. After 10 years of attempting to go away, she was successful on December 20th, 2015.
As of November 2016, I had the reoccurring thought that quite possibly, my daughter has been gone for quite some time. What I am not sensing is whether she has died a while ago, in captivity somewhere else, or has she been cloned, and I was left with a copy of her. I am aware of how crazy this may sound to many; However, I am way beyond people labeling me as a crazed lunatic. I am telling a part of my life’s experience as I believe it to be. I am also very much aware, that there is a Sinister Agenda on this planet. There are those who are playing at being gods in the lives of us in this Global Community.
So yes, I do believe that cloning is a daily practice, and I do believe that demonic entities has taken over the lives of many, resulting in the destroying and wrecking of many lives, that is individual lives, families, and communities. There is ample proof in the Holy Writings of demonic entities inhabiting souls……………………………………………………….
“two men coming out from among the tombs met him. They were unusually fierce, so nobody had the courage to pass by on that road”
“As Jesus got out onto land, a demon-possessed man from the city met him. For a considerable time he had not worn clothing, and he was staying, not in a house, but among the tombs.”
“And immediately after Jesus got out of the boat, a man under the power of an unclean spirit met him from among the tombs.”
“And continually, night and day, he was crying out in the tombs and in the mountains and slashing himself with stones.”……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
There is no end to Demonic Propaganda, it’s designed to dumb down the Global Community to the truth of what's going on around us, a vicious attempt to throw people off the path of truth. ……………………………………“So down the great dragon was hurled, the original serpent, the one called Devil and Satan, who is misleading the entire inhabited earth; he was hurled down to the earth, and his angels were hurled down with him.“ They are, in fact, expressions inspired by demons.”……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Along with the Demonic Propaganda there is Demonic Technology, these demonic technologies create clones, and other lab created organic Life forms around the globe and elsewhere.
On March 18th, 2017 my older daughter picked me up to spend the day with her and the kids. As I entered my daughter’s apartment, I was greeted by a large portrait, possibly dimensions of 17 by 14, of a young beautiful girl. The photograph so caught my attention, I kept looking at it, I kept looking and wondering who it was. I felt drawn to the photo and kept going back again and again to looking at the person in the photo. I knew that I should know this person, but I just could not place her. I wondered if it was a family member that I have not met or was it a friend of my daughter Sapphire. I kept being drawn to the young woman in the photo, I felt like it was someone I knew, or should have known. At the better half of the day, I could not take it any longer, so I broke down and ask my daughter, who was the young lady in the photo, she said, ‘’that is Tisha,’’ After coming out of my moment of shock, I looked at the photograph again. It was at that point I recognize that it was my daughter Tisha.
Why did I not recognize my own daughter in that photograph? I believe now that it was the reason that I felt months earlier, my Tisha had been replaced either with a clone or a demonic entity. The fact that I did not recognize her photograph in her sister’s home confirm to me that I am correct. She has been gone for some time.
**Names have been changed
For the unabridged version of this portion of “FOUNDATION” look for the official release later in 2018.